” I never want to get or be married!” These were my thoughts. Actually this was the plan for my life. I was 25 and content with being alone. Just me and the Lord.
Like a lot of people growing up, I wasn’t exposed to healthy relationships. The marriages I had seen had broken up and seemed senseless, especially to the younger me.
“If this is what love is, you can have it.” Yes, I said it and I would have shouted it from the roof tops, if I wasn’s so afraid to climb on to one. I am not ashamed of my thoughts and feelings, because they were real and it was the conclusion drawn from my life experiences.
If you understand these thoughts, feelings and live this way, then I respect you and still honor your feelings because they are yours.
However, it doesn’t to be that way.
You see, I felt that way because, I didn’t know any better. I was making the wrong choices based on what I thought was right and what “felt” good/right. I had based my decisions on the experiences that I had lived through. Mind you the choices you make between 16 and 22 are not always the best as you are still finding out more about you.
The marriages that I had witnessed, had dwindled down into bouts of bruises, infidelity and sometimes boredom. I didn’t want that for me.
As a student, I take a lot of what life throws at me and sit still enough to study it, chew the meat and then spit out the bones. I decided to give my life to the Lord and just take what God had for me. A crutch you say? If the things that I have learned and the values I now hold that have been GOOD for me, are crutches then bring them along 🙂
With that life change, came a vision and perspective change on marriage. I now see that there are principles that marriages must be built on to survive. You must be exposed to real marriages and people who will pray and support you through it. Marriage begins after the wedding bells and I found that, 99% of the guests at my wedding were not around when I needed them most.
After I do, comes the work and sometimes we don’t know where to begin, but together you believe you can do it. For the most part you can, but in my opinion, without the strong friendships, support and direction, you can begin wishing you never walked down that aisle.
Why am I being so frank? Because I recognize the need for that support system, that wisdom and that time to just get away from the stress of life. With and without your significant other. I get it.
I don’t believe that you stumbled upon today’s blog post by accident. I pray that you remain happy regardless of your marital status. Either road is not easy, but the marital one is not always as bleak as it may seen.
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Have an awesome Friday..
Remember your history doesn’t have to determine your story.